Life moves on........

So I'm able to control my thoughts and my feelings, but still my heart aches. I feel so emo at times writing this shit, but it happens I guess. I also feel like a middle school kid sometime, with all the guys that I'm trying to like, so I can find my Mr. Right.

Found someone kind of awesome, but I doubt he likes me, so I'm playing it safe in the friend zone. I'm just so sick of this zone.

In other news its cold! Fall is upon us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also I've found my inner writer finally. I have some inspiration to write, it feels good to do so. My brain has been so crazed lately, it feels good to get it out on paper.

Been working on my Directed Study some more, which makes me happy. Means I might actually get all this shit accomplished. Still a bitch to find information, but meh. I'll figure it out, I always do. Sadly I've been saying that a lot lately, about life. We will see if it's true soon I guess.

Can't go a day without thinking of you....

I'm soo tired right now, but I can't sleep once again. I want to be in his arms, I want to feel his touch and his kiss. I know most of its just from lust, but part of it, wants to see what could be.

Also my dreams are still haunted by Zonial, I can't believe it's been like three years since we were together and I still wonder if he ever thinks about me, the way I think about him.

Life moves on I guess, you learn to love others I guess. I don't know, call my old fashion, but I just want to find my match, my mate, my soul mate, and just be happy with that. I don't all this casual nonsense. I don't want to be called just a girlfriend. I want to be special in someones eyes.

Missy

Wow...is all that can be said

So my college semester so far has been anything but boring. I've been out doing something new or different almost every night! It's was fun, until I came down from my high and realized I'm broke and behind in my classes. So I've had to settle back into my old routine and now I'm scrambling for money to pay my bills. I want to say fuck my life, but there is no one else to blame but me, so I can't say it.

My diet was killed in the last two weeks, cause I'm a retarded person, but I hope to try and get back on to it. I want to be healthy, but it's so hard when your stuck in your ways. I grab a soda now again, just cause of habit! I need to kick my caffeine addiction again.

During my weeks of craziness, I met a really cool guy, but things are a bit rocky between us right now, cause I'm stupid again. I don't know how to explain my last two weeks, but all I know is it wasn't me, and it kind of scares me to look back on those weeks. I was reckless and careless and my consequences are minor compared to what they could have been. I just hope I can repair things between me and him, cause he is a sweetie.

Well I guess this is a huge update and I will try and be more consistent with my blog when I can.

☮Missy☮